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1.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I cook with wine sometimes I even add it to the food.... more

2.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I "accidentally" washed my cellphone once, and my wife has never let me do laundry again.... Yeah Accident... more

3.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I "Liked" your comment on my status update because I'm too lazy to respond.... more

4.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I "pet zone" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.... more

5.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.... more

6.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I <3 W... Valentine's day TXT message you send twins if you are unsure which one you are sending the message.... more

7.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I 've got an intense fear that I am a hypochondriac, or at least showing symptoms of one... more

8.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I (maybe?) came up with this joke today. What do you call a lost caveman? A meanderthal.... more

9.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I *SWEAR* I'm not addicted to brake fluid... I can stop whenever I want... more

10.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I 100% support the Trump Deportation Plan!! Where should we send him?... more

11.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I a tendency to skip words.... more

12.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I absolutely despise double-standards... Except when it's me, then it's okay.... more

13.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I absolutely love helium filled balloons. I can't speak highly enough about them.... more

14.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I absolutely love Sarah Palin Oh wait nevermind, I actually meant Parah Salin.... more

15.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them.... more

16.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I absolutely, unequivocally support any and all scientific efforts to create a real, working invisibility cloak. I just... more

17.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accept your apology. Can I borrow your phone? I need to cancel the hit I put out on you.... more

18.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions without reading them, and apparently I'm now responsible for hemming all o... more

19.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidental typed sinroof instead of sunroof and I may have just invented the greatest thing ever.... more

20.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally answered my phone & panicked when I heard someone say "hello?" so I just did the best I could & made the... more

21.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally answered the phone with my last name and got promoted to homicide detective... more

22.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally arrived at work five minutes early today. Speeding CAN be dangerous, kids.... more

23.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally ate a piece of rope... I shit you knot... more

24.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally ate one of my dog's bones and OH MY GOD THE MAILMAN'S OUTSIDE... more

25.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally ate too much alphabet soup yesterday and had a huge vowel movement.... more

26.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally bought a bicycle that has no seat it's not a deal breaker but it's kind of a pain in the ass.... more

27.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally bought regular Cheerios instead of Honey Nut and now my breakfast tastes like I'm attending a party sober... more

28.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally broke my cat's "best butt" award. It was a catastrophe.... more

29.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally bumped pretty hard into what I think was a transgender woman Felt like a dick... more

30.   Category: Short jokes  0 stars
I accidentally called it an eternity scarf instead of an infinity scarf and now I have to drink my Starbucks outside.... more

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